


I Miss You

by KnittingGuru1984



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-30
Updated: 2018-03-30
Packaged: 2019-04-15 01:55:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14149407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KnittingGuru1984/pseuds/KnittingGuru1984
Summary: Shane had never believed in the supernatural. That was Ryan's department. When Ryan is suddenly taken from him in an accident, Shane has his life turned upside down.





	I Miss You

No one was there the day Ryan died. He was driving back home from another day at work when the crash happened. He was alone at the end. The paramedics got there too late, finding the empty shell of the man he used to be. 

When news got back to the office on what had happened, it went silent. Everything stopped for Shane. The murmuring of those around him became a dimmed muffling. He stood in muted shock, face frozen in sadness and pain.

After a few moments Shane began to smile, but disbelief still clouded his eyes. 

"It a joke." He laughed out. "It's gotta be a joke."

He looked around the room, eyes searching from reassurance. None could be found, all he got was sympathy. 

"Stop kidding around, it can only be a joke. Ryan... Ryan's always trying to get me to believe in ghosts." Shane paused for a moment. "Any minute now, he'll come through the door, pretending to be one, this is just a joke!"

Shane's smile faltered. But how could it be anything else, Ryan would never leave him. He still had to prove that ghosts were real. He still had to answer the question. 

Someone in the crowd broke the silence, 

"I'm sorry Shane but Ryan's gone."

\- - 

For several days after the announcement was made, Shane didn't move from his bed. He lay in a constant shift between haunted dreams and haunted reality. It was only when he was disturbed by an unannounced visitor that he was risen from his lifeless existence.

"Shane" a female voice called through the emptiness. He gave no response. 

"Shane" she called again. Footsteps approached his room, he didn't stir from his position. 

His bedroom door was opened slowly and he heard a faint whisper, "oh, Shane..."

Shane turned to look at his now open door. Through tear stained eyes he saw a face he knew well. He tried to smile but all he could manage was a slight twitch of his lips. Joy, in any degree, just wasn't an option for him anymore. 

"Hello Sara." He croaked out. Shane raised himself from his where he lay on the bed to stand. Sara stepped further into the room. She carried a cardboard box in with her. 

"The office has decided to sort out Ryan's things..." Sara stated causiously, rocking slightly from foot to foot. "I was wondering... Maybe you'd like to keep the props from Unsolved..."

Shane dropped all attempts at looking like he was alright. The only emotion he felt now was anger. They were getting rid of Ryan's things? Was he no longer considered part of Buzzfeed?

"How could you..." Rage bubbled up inside him. "How could you just throw him away like this? Is this all he's worth to you?"

"Shane... We're not throwing him away." Sara said in a quiet tone. "We just thought you'd like to have his things, as a... memory of him..."

The sudden burst of anger had taken up the remaining drops of Shane's strength. His body gave up on him and his legs gave way underneath him. Collapsing down beside his bed, he put his head in his hands to hid his lonely despair.

Sara sighed. Walking towards Shane, she placed the box on the bed and couched down in front of him. Carefully, she placed a hand on his shoulder. 

"I know it hurts Shane but... You've got to stay strong. For him." Shane lifted his head from his hands and looked into her eyes, they were so full of reassurance and sympathy. With a small sniffle he nodded.

"Are you coming to the funeral? It's tomorrow. I think Ryan's family wanted you to say a few words..."

Shane nodded again. He would go to the funeral. It was the least he could do to honour Ryan. He wanted everyone to see and remember Ryan as he did, with all the love he held in his heart. 

Sara smiled, "I'll come and pick you up in the morning then. We can go together."

After helping Shane up off the floor of his bedroom and taking him into the kitchen, Sara gave him some food and left him alone once again. Shane would have to get ready for tomorrow, even if it was something he never wanted to do.

\- - 

The funeral was a quiet affair. Some members of the Buzzfeed team were there as well as Ryan's family. Shane sat towards the back of hall where the service was being held, silently listening to all that was said about his dearest friend, a person he held closely in his heart. 

Just before the end of the service, Shane was invited up to speak. He walked down the middle of the hall towards the podium. When he got there, he didn't know what to say. What could he say about the man he spent most of he time with? Ryan meant everything to him and he had to get that across. He took a deep breath and began. 

"Ryan once said to me that when he died, he wanted to be returned to the earth." Shane's voice shook as he remembered the incident that took place when filming an episode of Unsolved. It was so poetic when Ryan had said it. His true beauty shone through with his sweet words. It was something Shane would miss dearly. "Now we can fulfill that wish. He will sent back to be one with the earth, becoming part of the system of life."

Shane paused to breath. He had to control his tears as he spoke. Some, however, had escaped and were crawling down his cheeks. 

"And although..." Shane began again. "Although Ryan is now gone from our lives and we are left behind to miss him and love his memory, he has no truly left us. Now he lies immortalised in starlight, shining as he always did, in a way that only he could. I'll miss you Ryan."

At this Shane had to stop. Tears were now rolling freely down his cheeks as he attempted to keep his sobs silent.

Shane wiped his tears away and walked down from the podium towards his seat. He cried silently for the rest of the service until was able to get home. Once there, he went to bed and cried himself to sleep with memories of Ryan drifting in and out of his dreams.

\- -

It took Shane a few more days until he was confident enough to look inside the box of Ryan's things. Most of it was just nonsense to do with true crime cases or possible haunted sights. There were, however, some important things. The camera from when they went to haunted places, his laptop with all his research and a note he had written on his last day. 

When Shane saw the note, his heart sank low. He'd completely forgotten about it. A new wave of sadness rushed over him. It was the last thing Ryan had written to him, and it was the most important thing in the world. Ryan had left it on Shane's desk before he left. It was asking him out on a date and now Shane could never give him an answer. Shane had received the best news of his life that night, to then be followed by his worst nightmare. 

Taking some deep breaths to compose himself, Shane put the note down on the ground and picked up the last thing from the box. It was a small case that he recognised in an instant. It was Ryan's favourite device, and Shane's most hated. It was the spirit box. Ryan had loved to use it when they went ghost hunting. Nothing had annoyed Shane more, not even the consent insisting of ghostly noises with perfectly logical explanations.

A small smile appeared on Shane's lips as he looked at the box. It was the first smile he'd managed to make since he'd received the terrible news. As Shane looked at the box he had a thought. Maybe he should try one last time. Maybe he could communicate with someone. Maybe he could communicate with him... 

Placing the spirit box on his bedside table, he turned it on. The signature screeching of the box flicking between numerous radio channels blasted through the silence of the bedroom.

"Is anybody there?" Shane called into the noise. There was no reply. A few moments later he tried again but gained the same response.

Just as he was about to give up, a small crackling sound came out of the box. 

"... pfffft ... Sh ... pffft ... ane ... pfffft ..."

Shane paused and stared at the box in disbelief. It was his name. The box had said his name. Hope swelled in his heart and one word fell from his whispering lips. 

"Ryan"

\- - 

The next two weeks Shane sat with the box flickering on his bedside table. He hadn't turned it off since he'd found it. Each day he spoke to the box and waited for a reply.

When he thought about it, he laughed to himself. Ryan had finally managed to prove to him that ghosts were real. He was speaking to one everyday. He'd have to congratulate Ryan next time they spoke. Although he had a more important discussion to have with Ryan today. Today, Shane was finally going to reveal his feelings. Sitting next to the box, Shane called out.

"Hello Ryan!" A grin was present on his face as he stared at the box. Through the static came a small reply.

"... pfffft ... Sh ... pffft ... ane ... pfffff ..."

"I'm so glad you're here... I wanted to talk to you." Shane drew in a shaky breath before he revealed his heart.

"I miss you"

... 

"I don't want to... I can't live without you..."

... 

"I won't be without you any longer..."

... 

"Ryan... I love you."

\- -

No one was there the day Shane died. He was lying on his bed when he did it, with the spirit box crackling beside him. He'd decided that he didn't want this existence any more, he wanted Ryan.

Taking a knife from the kitchen he cut long lines into his forearms. Slowly bleeding out, he rested his head on his pillow and listen to the box fizzle through the radio channels. Before his life fully left him he whispered his last words. 

"I'm coming for you Ryan." 

Sara found him a week later, spirit box still making noise. As she approached his bedroom she saw his lifeless shell laying on his bed, peaceful at last. Through the silence she heard a crackled voice.

"... pfft ... Sh ... pfft ... ane ... pfft ... I ... mss ... yu ..."


End file.
